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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 everything ended off wee hours in the morning..received an sms saeing to finally part and end everything..i knw the whole thing isnt entirely his fault, cox im at fault too, for not wanting to give me etc, and keep having this mentality that its his fault. he told me he still loves me and i'll be the girl he wanna settle down with etc etc etc...but to me nw, these all are empty words and promises..i need actions to back up wadever he saes..apparently, hes doing none of it at all...only alwax asking me to go dwn n find him etc etc. did i pamper him too much in the past by alwax goin dwn to find him therefore giving him the impression that i'll alwax do the same thing?..everything ended off in a quarrel...im simply just too tired to even wanna talk abt anything further. think things just came at the wrong time..esp when im facing trouble with work. apparently, yst, KK called me in the afternoon telling me tat theres something wrong with the printing for US..i had a shock outta my entire life tat i simply went blank..and when i sae blank, i realli mean BLANK!!!~~ brains simply froze ther not knwing wad to do..n sat ther staring at everything..its the 1st time in my entire life i have to face with such things lor..its not a obvious mistake, but is still a mistake...after discussing with KK, he decided to not blow up the matter and see hw things go.. :S have you ever had that kinda feeling that u spent so much time and effort to do something for like a mth+ and only to knw tat when u did it, theres a mistake?...this kinda feeling is undescribable lor...in short, it SUX BIG TIME!! fuck it!! fuck it!! fuck it!! fuck it!! fuck it!! and this mornin, KK called again to tell me even more problems with US side now...its terrible lor...this whole entire US thing is realli draining me off lor..its like sucking me dry..inside out... now i finally knw..that u realli need someone caring..at least to be able to provide you with a listening ear to your problems, even if u both belong to different lines...he/she shld be able to listen to your grumbles..just like daddy n mummy..both of them are in different wrking linees and every nite, mummy will just tell daddy everything abt wrk..even if daddy cant advise, at least by listenin, mummy felt better...but for him, he doesnt even bother to listen...and when we argued about it, he told me stuff like, i alsO dun understand wat u r saeing etc etc..the thing is, cant u just listen? be it whether u knw or not..as times go by, u'll be able to understand de mah...in a r/s, communication is beri impt..and tat was wads lack in my previous r/s. maybe some of u might sae im being unfair here, that i have this another person in my life right now, n thats boO. reason why i choOse to 'be' with him is cox he'll take the effort to listen to my grumbles..ask me wad happened..gives me advice..and even when he cant give me, at least he listened and i do feel much better after that...thats the difference btw bOo n him..n thats the reason why eventualli i'll turn to bOo..even when everything seems blurry, at least i knw hes there for me when i need him...to provide me with a listening ear...and as time goes by, i spend more n more time with him instead... yesterdae during lunch, we headed over TP..and when we were coming back, it started to drizzle..having a pregnant mama*Veni* with us, i decided to get help..keke..bOo was in the office preparing for his con call..smsed him to see if he chld come over to 'rescue' us...and he did!!! its like abt 10min away b4 his con call..while waiting for him.. rainna asked' ehx, you gt tell him over here gt hw many pple mah? later he only bring 1 umbrella over hw?'.. wakaka..there was 4 of us..me, Veni, Rainna and wendy... then either veni or wendy said' if he brings only 3 or wad, we're gonna take 1 each then u take care of urself arh..'.. me: -_-""" spotted him awhile later and he had *holding*3 umbrellas only..walau..and when he came over, the 3 of them toOk the umbrellas and threw me aside!!! hw bad can tat be rite?...i was the one who called for rescue lor...so in the end, i shared the umbrella with him...lucky it was only drizzling lah..i was in a white top lor..wakakaka..reached office n he headed off for his con call shortly...hurhurhur... earlier this morning, Desmond msn me asking me why i loOk so pisst off the past few daes...saeing that when he sae me, my face is like as black as midnight..hurhurhur..told him alittle here n there... i knw the above sounds redundant..but even a fren aka colleague can feel/ see it, why cant the person whos closest to me not even bothered about it?... i dun think im upset abt the lost of that r/s...i think i feel more disappointed..which is suppose overpowered everything...1st time i actually felt disappointed in a r/s..hw pathetic can it be?...haiz... conclusion is...终於让自已属於我自已.. my PerFeCt LifE-`.  |
