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Friday, October 30, 2009 been spending quite some time with bOo~~ went over his plc to nua together yesterday and watched a movie together..then we started talking...more or less like pouring our feelings out..cox on mon, i din realli reply his texts and he texted me..on 10.14pm..'Huh.. Suddenly MIA...', i replied and his next reply was at 10.17pm..'Hmm.. Well well.. Kinda driving crazy bah..'..and so yesterday, i asked him why was he going crazy..at times, i guess even when i knw the ans, i simply jux wanna hear it...hurhurhur..and so, he told me cox i din realli reply him..he was wondering wad i was doing and stuff like tat..guess, hes used to me replyin him promptly already...talked quite alot though..hmm...and guess wad, he seems to be able to read me like a book..knws myself more or less even better than myself...scary isnt it..and so far, only juan n Kor seems to be able to read me like a book...didnt expect him to the the 3rd person.. i suppose after so so so many things that happened to me and/or stuff that i've been through..i dun even knw how i realli feel towards everything...i can be like so good at putting on this mask to show the other side of my true emotion...can act happi when deep down, i dun feel happi at all and stuff like tat..wearing a mask is like an everydae thingy to me now...nv showing my real emotions and all, cox somehow, to me, showing ur real emotion is like telling others that u r actualli quite vunerable...theres this saying''ONLY THE STRONGEST & FITTEST SURVIVE"... he said just this sentence that made me confirmed that he was able to read me like a book...'u r actualli very vunerable to hurt..u get hurt easily'...was shocked to hear it..cox i tot i already managed to potray a strong side of me to everyone..and seriously, nt alot of pple knw..only those close to me who went through everything with me knws it~~ but then again, im also glad that in front of him, i can take that mask dwn and leave it aside and show the true me out... wadever it is..wadever the outcome will be..even when there wont be any ending..lets just enjoy every moment spent together and remember it...'the outcome isnt important, its enjoying the process of it'.. esp when he asked me about spending time together next weekend..he will start to ask to spend more time together nwadaes... :/ will be heading out with Ms Chua and David for dinner and happy hour later~~~ thats something to look forward too...-deflates- my PerFeCt LifE-`.  |
